just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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