He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
