about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
