lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
