she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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