Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
