He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
