I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
