It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize