it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize