think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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