The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So apparently I’m into choking now
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