Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
