Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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