I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
