I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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