i came on her dog
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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