Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
