Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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