had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
