Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
