bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
