There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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