I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
