You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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