idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
