How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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