Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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