My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
