I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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