A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
