What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
