i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm at about main and main street
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
