I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
