Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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