i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
