New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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