I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
