Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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