wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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