i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize