he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
