I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
