Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize