no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
