Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
