Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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