they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
