Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The air taste purple.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
