their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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