I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
