ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
