DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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