I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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