Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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