just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
