normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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