It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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